What can help to stick to a good intention? A relevant question for many people because good intentions often stay just that… intentions. Whether it is about going to the gym after a hard day’s work or about that glass of wine that you intended not to drink today; the soft comfortable sofa and sharing a good bottle of wine with your friends is often so much more appealing. So you give in. Ah well. There is always tomorrow.
Counsellors are often confronted with clients who really intended to do something, but unfortunately did not come around to actually doing it. The side effect of not sticking to an intended action is that the client can start to feel he is a loser. His confidence and his trust in his ability to change for the better are diminished. On top of the problem he came to counselling with, he gets the surplus problem of low self esteem and lack of confidence.
There are some fairly simple scientifically proven tools available to enhance self control and to stimulate sticking to a good intention. The first is called implementation Intention. Here’s what it is and how it works.
Implementation intention: how does that work?
Implementation intentions are simple action plans stipulating where, when, and how one will perform an intended behaviour. Implementation intentions look like this: “ if I come across situation X, I will perform behaviour Y”. Implementation intentions have been found to promote goal directed behaviour (Gollwitzer et al 1999).
Adriaanse et al describe their research results in this article regarding breaking bad habits using implementation intentions. In the example of the intention of NOT having that glass of wine, the implementation intention can look something like this:” if my friend offers me a glass of wine I will explain I would rather have some fruit juice which I have brought with me”. Adriaanse et al (2011) wondered if implementation intention would indeed work when wanting to change bad habits. The problem with bad habits is that they consist of behaviours which are triggered immediately under certain circumstances and are acted upon almost without conscious thought. Would it indeed work, Adriaanse wondered, to replace the habit of eating crisps in front of the television with a better habit of eating an apple? The problem with breaking habits is that your brain has made very strong links between the situation and the bad behaviour: TV? Crisps! That’s the link you don’t want. Instead you want your brain to go: TV? Apple!
Suppose your implementation intention would be:” if I watch TV I will eat an apple”, where your current bad habit is:”if I watch TV I eat crisps”, which thought would win the battle of popping up in your mind first? The mental process of the implementation intention (apple), or the mental process of the bad habit (crisps)? Adriaanse et al found the following hopeful results in three large scale studies.
Implementation intentions are effective when it comes to overruling the cognitive representation of the bad habit (crisps) with the better implementation intention (apple). Simply put: “if I watch a film I will have a cup of green tea” turns out to be a good way to break the habit of drinking wine when watching TV. The mental link between film and wine is being slowed down and the mental link between film and green tea wins.
Would you like to try if it works for you? This is what Adriaanse did in her research:
1. Think about which unhealthy habit you would like to change and which healthier habit you would like to replace it with (e.g. apple instead of crisps when watching tv)
2. Formulate your intention like this:”if I am in situation X (trigger) I will perform behaviour Y (healthy behaviour)”.
3. Visualise yourself performing your alternative behaviour in the specific situation in which you want to develop your new healthy habit
4. Write down your plan and your better behaviour in detail
After having done this it would also be good to increase your self control. Here is a simple way to help yourself to do just that.
Change your thinking to global and abstract
Fuijta et al (2006,2008) also offers interesting insights in how to help yourself to increase your self control. He found that self control can be improved by taking an abstract, global perspective on a situation. Keep an eye on the bigger picture when making simple daily decisions. You are reluctant to go to the gym, for example, and you are not in the mood. Then you think about your ultimate goal, which is to feel fit and healthy. If you get on with it this evening, this will contribute to reaching your goal. With that in mind it suddenly gets easier to get yourself on your bike. Through abstract reasoning you prevent yourself from dwelling on the (unpleasant) details of your current situation. Instead you start thinking about how this specific situation fits with your overall goals. It turns out that this sort of abstract thinking improves your self control. You don’t think about how much you hate cycling in the rain, but instead you think about the image you want to have of yourself: fit and healthy. Taking into account the bigger picture, global and abstract thinking improve your daily self control.
Try it? Let us know how it worked!
zondag 5 juni 2011
Positive emotions in times of crisis
How can you possibly have positive emotions when you have just lost your job? Does it do any good to have positive emotions under these sorts of difficult circumstances? Yes, is the answer. Interesting research by Tugade and Fredrickson shows that positive emotions in times of crisis have a profound impact on well being and achieving your goals. Barbara Fredrickson has written the book Positivity, in which she explains research results of many years of dedicated research. Tugade and Fredrickson looked for example into the effect of positive emotions on survivors of the 9/11 bombings.
They found that survivors who reported feelings of gratefulness and joy to have survived, were much better off in the long run. It turns out that when people give positive meaning to negative events beyond their control, this has a very strong positive effect on how they cope. It leads to a healthier body and a healthier mind. People who stayed focused on positive and realistic goals, turned out to cope much better with the 9/11 disaster than people who felt to be a victim of the bombings.
Positive emotions in times of crisis help to keep a broader perspective on your situation, to look beyond the direct negative stressors and to take a more varied array of actions to achieve positive goals. Positive emotions, therefore, do more than just making you feel better in the moment. They have a long term effect.
In the current times of economic downturn, it is useful to be aware of the positive effect of positive emotions. But how do you do that? Surely it is not easy to feel anything positive after you have lost something valuable or someone special? Solution focused counseling is one of the ways in which people can find positive meaning and become more optimistic. The solution focused counselor helps clients to keep their positive, realistic goals in mind and to develop effective coping strategies when things are hard. Solution focused counselors subtly help clients to give positive meaning to their current situation and to focus on what works for them to achieve their desired future step by step.
If you want to read more:
They found that survivors who reported feelings of gratefulness and joy to have survived, were much better off in the long run. It turns out that when people give positive meaning to negative events beyond their control, this has a very strong positive effect on how they cope. It leads to a healthier body and a healthier mind. People who stayed focused on positive and realistic goals, turned out to cope much better with the 9/11 disaster than people who felt to be a victim of the bombings.
Positive emotions in times of crisis help to keep a broader perspective on your situation, to look beyond the direct negative stressors and to take a more varied array of actions to achieve positive goals. Positive emotions, therefore, do more than just making you feel better in the moment. They have a long term effect.
In the current times of economic downturn, it is useful to be aware of the positive effect of positive emotions. But how do you do that? Surely it is not easy to feel anything positive after you have lost something valuable or someone special? Solution focused counseling is one of the ways in which people can find positive meaning and become more optimistic. The solution focused counselor helps clients to keep their positive, realistic goals in mind and to develop effective coping strategies when things are hard. Solution focused counselors subtly help clients to give positive meaning to their current situation and to focus on what works for them to achieve their desired future step by step.
If you want to read more:
Beyond surviving a trauma
Life is not always fair and sometimes bad things happen without any warning. After the traumatic event has struck, people can struggle for a long time to come to terms with it.
Talking about the traumatic events can be a very useful first step for clients. Telling their story to a compassionate counsellor and feeling that this person does not judge them for what has happened to them can be an enormous relief. It can lift feelings of shame and fear. Clients can start to realise it was not their fault and they are not to blame for what has happened to them. They are a victim. However, labelling oneself as a victim is not a stage which is healthy in the long run. When people keep on feeling they are a victim, these feelings can cause depression, anxiety, helplessness and despair.
A healthier way forward is to start seeing oneself as a survivor. Counsellors can help by exploring with the client how he managed to cope with the traumatic event. How did he do it? How did he manage to survive it? What helped him in the darkest hours? These sorts of questions help the client to focus on another dimension of their history - their strengths and resources. It can result in a feeling of pride that one was able to survive an ordeal. It can raise positive emotions regarding a terrible past.
Surely it is not easy to feel anything positive after you have lost something valuable, endured an ordeal or lost someone special. But does it do any good to have positive emotions under these sorts of difficult circumstances? Yes is the answer. Interesting research by Tugade and Fredrickson shows that positive emotions in times of crisis have a profound impact on wellbeing and achieving goals. Tugade and Fredrickson looked, for example, into the effect of positive emotions on survivors of the 9/11 bombings. They found that survivors who reported feelings of gratefulness and joy to have survived were much better off in the long run. It turns out that when people give positive meaning to negative events beyond their control, this has a very strong positive effect on how they cope. It leads to a healthier body and a healthier mind. People who stayed focused on positive and realistic goals turned out to cope much better with the 9/11 disaster than people who felt to be a victim of the bombings. Positive emotions in times of crisis help to keep a broader perspective on your situation, to look beyond the direct negative stressors and to take a more varied array of actions to achieve positive goals. Positive emotions, therefore, do more than just making you feel better in the moment. They have a long term effect.
Yvonne Dolan, a solution focused therapist who has written a lot about the topic of trauma, speaks of a life beyond the survivor stage. Beyond surviving you’re thriving. The trauma doesn’t define you any longer. It has become just one part of who you are. To help someone to go beyond being a survivor, Dolan’s “therapeutic resolving letters” can be useful. These are four letters which the client can do as homework and can bring into the next session. Letter one includes all the unresolved feelings which the client has toward someone or something that has happened to him. Letter two is the response that the client fears, this either being a response from the attacker or someone who has no good intentions toward the client. Letter three is the letter which the client would hope he would get. It includes all the acknowledgement the client seeks and in case of an attacker it also includes an apology. Letter three has to be written straight after letter two, in order not to deepen the trauma but to ease it. Letter four can be written at such a time as the client feels like it and it represents the hope the client has for a better future. A future in which the trauma is genuinely in the past and the client has gone beyond surviving it.
If you want to read more:
Talking about the traumatic events can be a very useful first step for clients. Telling their story to a compassionate counsellor and feeling that this person does not judge them for what has happened to them can be an enormous relief. It can lift feelings of shame and fear. Clients can start to realise it was not their fault and they are not to blame for what has happened to them. They are a victim. However, labelling oneself as a victim is not a stage which is healthy in the long run. When people keep on feeling they are a victim, these feelings can cause depression, anxiety, helplessness and despair.
A healthier way forward is to start seeing oneself as a survivor. Counsellors can help by exploring with the client how he managed to cope with the traumatic event. How did he do it? How did he manage to survive it? What helped him in the darkest hours? These sorts of questions help the client to focus on another dimension of their history - their strengths and resources. It can result in a feeling of pride that one was able to survive an ordeal. It can raise positive emotions regarding a terrible past.
Surely it is not easy to feel anything positive after you have lost something valuable, endured an ordeal or lost someone special. But does it do any good to have positive emotions under these sorts of difficult circumstances? Yes is the answer. Interesting research by Tugade and Fredrickson shows that positive emotions in times of crisis have a profound impact on wellbeing and achieving goals. Tugade and Fredrickson looked, for example, into the effect of positive emotions on survivors of the 9/11 bombings. They found that survivors who reported feelings of gratefulness and joy to have survived were much better off in the long run. It turns out that when people give positive meaning to negative events beyond their control, this has a very strong positive effect on how they cope. It leads to a healthier body and a healthier mind. People who stayed focused on positive and realistic goals turned out to cope much better with the 9/11 disaster than people who felt to be a victim of the bombings. Positive emotions in times of crisis help to keep a broader perspective on your situation, to look beyond the direct negative stressors and to take a more varied array of actions to achieve positive goals. Positive emotions, therefore, do more than just making you feel better in the moment. They have a long term effect.
Yvonne Dolan, a solution focused therapist who has written a lot about the topic of trauma, speaks of a life beyond the survivor stage. Beyond surviving you’re thriving. The trauma doesn’t define you any longer. It has become just one part of who you are. To help someone to go beyond being a survivor, Dolan’s “therapeutic resolving letters” can be useful. These are four letters which the client can do as homework and can bring into the next session. Letter one includes all the unresolved feelings which the client has toward someone or something that has happened to him. Letter two is the response that the client fears, this either being a response from the attacker or someone who has no good intentions toward the client. Letter three is the letter which the client would hope he would get. It includes all the acknowledgement the client seeks and in case of an attacker it also includes an apology. Letter three has to be written straight after letter two, in order not to deepen the trauma but to ease it. Letter four can be written at such a time as the client feels like it and it represents the hope the client has for a better future. A future in which the trauma is genuinely in the past and the client has gone beyond surviving it.
If you want to read more:
Hope, the neglected common factor
Dr Denis O’Hara, researcher at Universities in Scotland and Australia, stresses that the fourth common factor “hope” deserves much more attention than it currently receives. In Therapy Today, vol 21, issue 9 he writes the following:
As most therapists know, there are four common factors in therapy which determine the effectiveness of the therapy. The first common factor is extra-therapeutic support (social support which the client receives), the second is the therapeutic relationship (the relationship between the therapist and the client), the third is the theory and method used by the therapist and the fourth common factor is hope and a positive expectation.
O’Hara defines hope as “the optimistic expectation of a good future”. Without the conviction that good things and good experiences are available to us, we lose hope and get desperate. One of the main reasons why people seek help from a therapist, is because they are confused whether or not there is still hope for them in their situation.
Researchers of the Hope Foundation in Canada therapists define hope in three different ways:
1. Hope as something tangible that one person can give to another. De role of the therapist is then to give hope to the client
2. Hope as a process of discovery. The role of the therapist is then to help the client discover there is hope in his narrative. Hope which the client could not see any longer, but which is actually there to be discovered
3. Hope as co-construction. The role of the therapist is to create hope, together with the client. Through a process of co-construction in therapeutic conversations, the therapist co-creates hope which is relevant to the client.
Many therapists indicate that evoking hope is an important part of their work with clients, but that they normally don’t address the concept of hope directly. Instead their approach is more implicit. Others do address hope explicitly. Hope is a necessary to live and strengthening hope is one of the essential goals of therapy. The current practices in therapy balance between implicitly and explicitly addressing the hope of the client. Hope as the fourth common factor deserves much more attention and research, O’Hara states.
Creating a positive expectation that the change that will happen will be beneficial, can be done very subtle. These sorts of interventions prove to be effective:
Reframing the language of the client (e.g. I will never succeed to I am not succeeding yet)
Evoking detailed own positive behaviour descriptions, by asking questions which imply a positive change will happen (e.g.“What will you be doing different once the problem is solved?)
Implying a better future (e.g. “Soon, when things start to improve between the two of you, what are the first signs that will tell you this is happening?”)
Analysing positive behaviour in the past (e.g. “When were you able to manage……, how did you do that then?”)
Scaling questions which address the process of change (e.g. “on a scale of 0 to 10, where 10 means “I know I am on the right track” and 0 means “I have no idea if I’m on the right track, where are you now on that scale?”) or scaling questions which address the desired future of the client (e.g. “on a scale of 0 to 10, where 10 means you have achieved your desired situation and 0 means you have not achieved anything yet, where are you now on that scale?”
Analysing progress (e.g. What is better? How did you achieve that?”)
Normalising (e.g. yes, many people experience depressive thoughts at some point in their life’s”, or “under these circumstances lots of people would feel the way you feel now”.).
If you are interested to read more about subtly eliciting hope, read this article:
As most therapists know, there are four common factors in therapy which determine the effectiveness of the therapy. The first common factor is extra-therapeutic support (social support which the client receives), the second is the therapeutic relationship (the relationship between the therapist and the client), the third is the theory and method used by the therapist and the fourth common factor is hope and a positive expectation.
O’Hara defines hope as “the optimistic expectation of a good future”. Without the conviction that good things and good experiences are available to us, we lose hope and get desperate. One of the main reasons why people seek help from a therapist, is because they are confused whether or not there is still hope for them in their situation.
Researchers of the Hope Foundation in Canada therapists define hope in three different ways:
1. Hope as something tangible that one person can give to another. De role of the therapist is then to give hope to the client
2. Hope as a process of discovery. The role of the therapist is then to help the client discover there is hope in his narrative. Hope which the client could not see any longer, but which is actually there to be discovered
3. Hope as co-construction. The role of the therapist is to create hope, together with the client. Through a process of co-construction in therapeutic conversations, the therapist co-creates hope which is relevant to the client.
Many therapists indicate that evoking hope is an important part of their work with clients, but that they normally don’t address the concept of hope directly. Instead their approach is more implicit. Others do address hope explicitly. Hope is a necessary to live and strengthening hope is one of the essential goals of therapy. The current practices in therapy balance between implicitly and explicitly addressing the hope of the client. Hope as the fourth common factor deserves much more attention and research, O’Hara states.
Creating a positive expectation that the change that will happen will be beneficial, can be done very subtle. These sorts of interventions prove to be effective:
Reframing the language of the client (e.g. I will never succeed to I am not succeeding yet)
Evoking detailed own positive behaviour descriptions, by asking questions which imply a positive change will happen (e.g.“What will you be doing different once the problem is solved?)
Implying a better future (e.g. “Soon, when things start to improve between the two of you, what are the first signs that will tell you this is happening?”)
Analysing positive behaviour in the past (e.g. “When were you able to manage……, how did you do that then?”)
Scaling questions which address the process of change (e.g. “on a scale of 0 to 10, where 10 means “I know I am on the right track” and 0 means “I have no idea if I’m on the right track, where are you now on that scale?”) or scaling questions which address the desired future of the client (e.g. “on a scale of 0 to 10, where 10 means you have achieved your desired situation and 0 means you have not achieved anything yet, where are you now on that scale?”
Analysing progress (e.g. What is better? How did you achieve that?”)
Normalising (e.g. yes, many people experience depressive thoughts at some point in their life’s”, or “under these circumstances lots of people would feel the way you feel now”.).
If you are interested to read more about subtly eliciting hope, read this article:
woensdag 9 februari 2011
Solution focused encouraging versus problem focused confronting
The SFE-coaching style is positive and goal oriented. Derived from the therapeutic field, it is currently used in a wide variety of settings such as in coaching, in management and in organisational change. In a SFE-change process the solutions to the problem have to fit with the unique and specific circumstances of the client. When using this change approach problems are not analysed or diagnosed. Instead the desired future of the client is explored. A SFE-coach will explore the client’s desired future in concrete and positive terms, encouraging the client to use vivid language. By analysing previous successes and positive exceptions to the problem in the past, solutions are built that suit the specific context and situation of the client. This analysis of what works is then used to reach the desired future step by step (Schlundt Bodien, Visser, 2008). The SFE-change approach is encouraging, positive, goal and succes oriented and focuses on small steps. The opposite can be described as confronting, problem focused, negative and focusing on big steps. The PFC-approach is based on the assumption that change only happens when the client is confronted with what he is doing wrong and that the coach needs to give the client expert advice on how to deal with his problem. The difference between the two coaching styles is summarised below.
If a coach uses SFE-interventions, these will be mainly positive, encouraging, focused on positive goals, focused on what works for the student, focused on successes and on positive competencies and expectations. If a coach uses PFC-interventions, these will be mainly negative, problem focused, focused on confronting the student with what he is doing wrong and with his lack of competence, in the hope that this will “ wake him up” to get his act together.
If a coach uses SFE-interventions, these will be mainly positive, encouraging, focused on positive goals, focused on what works for the student, focused on successes and on positive competencies and expectations. If a coach uses PFC-interventions, these will be mainly negative, problem focused, focused on confronting the student with what he is doing wrong and with his lack of competence, in the hope that this will “ wake him up” to get his act together.
maandag 22 februari 2010
Quote: Insoo Kim Berg on sincerity
As you are saying this make sure that you sound sincere; the best way to do this is t0 really believe what you are saying.
Family Based Services, page 25
Family Based Services, page 25
What is the solution focused approach?
The solution focused approach is a respectful change approach. It works with the perspective of the client and acknowledges that the solutions to the problem have to fit with the unique and specific circumstances of the client. The approach acknowledges the perception that a problem exists, without analysing its causes or history. Instead, the approach explores what the desired future looks like for the client. The approach defines this desired future in concrete and positive terms, using vivid language. By analysing previous successes and positive exceptions to the problem in the past, solutions are build that suit the specific context and situation. This analysis of what works is then used to reach the desired future step by step.
In comparison to change methods which use problem solving techniques, the solution focused approach is somewhat different. In traditional problem solving, problems are being analysed by looking at the causes of the problem and the history of the problem. When did the problem start? Why did the problem evolve? Who did what to contribute to the current problem? Who is to blame? Quite often this analysis of the problem causes the problem to grow into a bigger problem. More and more causes of the problem are being found and problematic side-effects of the problem are being triggered. Lots of time and attention goes to what is wrong and broken, leading to feelings of fear and despair.
The solution focused approach is subtly different, with great effect. A lot of the things that define the problem solving methods are being discarded in the solution focused approach. There is no problem analysis, no problem diagnoses, and no overview of the causes of the problem, no overview of the history of the problem or of the problematic side-effects of the problem and there is no labelling of the sort of problem the problem is.
So, if all of this has no place in the solution focused approach, how does the solution focused approach handle problems? Is it allowed to talk about problems in this approach? Yes, the solution focused approach regards problems as good starting points for positive change. When there is a problem, the solution focused approach asks WHAT the problem is and HOW the problem bothers the client. By doing this, the client experiences that the problem is within his own circle of influence and this often helps to reduce the problem to manageable proportions.
Even though problems can be a good starting point for positive change, problems are not necessary to start achieving a desired future. Sometimes the solution focused approach is used in problem-free circumstances. The approach then directly asks about the desired future. What does the desired future look like? How would the client like things to become? A tangible, positive image of the desired future is being build, using vivid, result oriented language. Instead of analysing the gap between the desired future and the current situation, the solution focused approach analyses what works well and what has been achieved already. By doing so, the client becomes aware of everything that works well and how this helps to achieve the desired future.
This positive path is being strengthened by analysing when the desired future has already occurred, even a little bit. What was happening then? How was that achieved? What worked well then? The positive path is also being deepened by asking when the problem didn’t occur and what happened differently then. By exploring these positive paths, the client obtains information as to how success in the past happened and this raises the hope that positive change is possible.
Since the client has summarised what has been achieved already and what worked well in the past, he gets more and more ideas regarding what he can do to make the desired future happen. A bridge is being build between success in the past and success in the future. The positive and hopeful mood that the client has now obtained, helps to take small steps to improvement. These small steps have a motivating effect and give instant feedback whether or not they are the right steps for the client.
In comparison to change methods which use problem solving techniques, the solution focused approach is somewhat different. In traditional problem solving, problems are being analysed by looking at the causes of the problem and the history of the problem. When did the problem start? Why did the problem evolve? Who did what to contribute to the current problem? Who is to blame? Quite often this analysis of the problem causes the problem to grow into a bigger problem. More and more causes of the problem are being found and problematic side-effects of the problem are being triggered. Lots of time and attention goes to what is wrong and broken, leading to feelings of fear and despair.
The solution focused approach is subtly different, with great effect. A lot of the things that define the problem solving methods are being discarded in the solution focused approach. There is no problem analysis, no problem diagnoses, and no overview of the causes of the problem, no overview of the history of the problem or of the problematic side-effects of the problem and there is no labelling of the sort of problem the problem is.
So, if all of this has no place in the solution focused approach, how does the solution focused approach handle problems? Is it allowed to talk about problems in this approach? Yes, the solution focused approach regards problems as good starting points for positive change. When there is a problem, the solution focused approach asks WHAT the problem is and HOW the problem bothers the client. By doing this, the client experiences that the problem is within his own circle of influence and this often helps to reduce the problem to manageable proportions.
Even though problems can be a good starting point for positive change, problems are not necessary to start achieving a desired future. Sometimes the solution focused approach is used in problem-free circumstances. The approach then directly asks about the desired future. What does the desired future look like? How would the client like things to become? A tangible, positive image of the desired future is being build, using vivid, result oriented language. Instead of analysing the gap between the desired future and the current situation, the solution focused approach analyses what works well and what has been achieved already. By doing so, the client becomes aware of everything that works well and how this helps to achieve the desired future.
This positive path is being strengthened by analysing when the desired future has already occurred, even a little bit. What was happening then? How was that achieved? What worked well then? The positive path is also being deepened by asking when the problem didn’t occur and what happened differently then. By exploring these positive paths, the client obtains information as to how success in the past happened and this raises the hope that positive change is possible.
Since the client has summarised what has been achieved already and what worked well in the past, he gets more and more ideas regarding what he can do to make the desired future happen. A bridge is being build between success in the past and success in the future. The positive and hopeful mood that the client has now obtained, helps to take small steps to improvement. These small steps have a motivating effect and give instant feedback whether or not they are the right steps for the client.
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