Solution focused dialogue

An example of a solution focused dialogue between a coach and a manager is the following:

© 2011 Gwenda Schlundt Bodien

Client I have just started with this major project which has to transform a large part of our city into a more liveable environment and I have come to the conclusion I have bitten off more than I can chew and the goals are not feasible.

Coach Indeed? That sounds like an important project. And now you have come to the conclusion that the goals are not feasible?

Client I have been asked by the managing director and was flattered that he trusted me with this major project. We had a couple of very inspiring meetings together and we were both very enthusiastic….about the goals of the project and about working together…one great idea after the other…but now that I have actually started the project it turns out that our key players are not ready to change…I get very little cooperation…and very little means….

Coach I see…so you and the managing director are very inspired and inspire each other….and now that you have started things prove to be harder then expected….little cooperation, little means…how is this situation a problem to you?

Client Erm….I doubt if I can substantiate what I promised…I seriously doubt it…..we have been way too ambitious, I’m afraid…..

Coach Yeah…yeah….so you doubt if you can substantiate the ambitions….how does that bother you?

Client Well…..what mainly bothers me is that the managing director still believes everything will be as we thought it would in the early enthusiastic days… I guess that’s what bothers me most….that he is still on the same track as before….I fear he will be very disapointed when I tell him we can’t do it the way we set out to do it…no way we can achieve those ambitious plans…it won’t do our reputations any good and he’ll be most upset by what I have to tell him….That’s what bothers me most…that it is entirely my problem right now…

Coach Yeah, I can understand you want to change things in that respect…

Client Exactly….yeah, I realy do want to change that….You see, you can’t expect everybody to get positively involved in a major change like this one…but it can’t be that I have to realise all the ambitions while the facts are so much more tenacious than we expected… yeah….I really want to do something about this….
Coach That I understand…so you don’t want to have to realise all the ambitions while the reality is so much more tenacious than you both expected…how would you like things to become?

Client Yeah yeah….erm…that’s a tough one…Preferably I would have all the cooperation of all the key parties….more budget…more means….but erm…....

Coach Hmmm..?

Client Well…you know….good cooperation takes time and I’m sure I can pull that off in time….but it takes some patience….But I’m thinking….what I really would like is for the managing director and me to have a more realistic outlook.. together…

Coach Aha, how would you notice that the two of you had a more realistic outlook?

Client Well…when I see him these days he is still so impassionate about the huge metamorphosis of our city…as if everybody is going to live in Utopia…and I’m thinking…you’re not stuck in the mud like I am…

Coach Yes…that sounds hard….how would you notice that the two of you had a more realistic outlook when you see him and speak with him?

Client In that case…I would have the space to tell him about the major problems I’m facing….I wouldn’t have to be so optimistic and positive all of the time….He would have an open ear for reality and for things that are blatantly bad…

Coach I understand…you two would discuss the major problems and he would have an open ear for reality and you wouldn’t have to be so positive all the time as you are not always so optimistic….what would be the benefit of that?

Client Such an honest man to man could be very beneficial…sure! We would be able to make a much more realistic projectplanning.. with the same ambitions, just taking much more time to achieve them..we would talk about all the obstacles and come up with better plans…and communicate the same ideas everywhere…

Coach Sounds good! What would be better for you then?

Client That would lift a weight from my shoulders…I would probably be inspired again to go for it….and enjoy the meetings with the managing director again..….because we both know and understand that our ambitions take time and resources…. Yeah…that would be good…but that’s not where he is at now…he still has his head in the clouds…tells everyone how pleased he is I am leading the transformation of our city...

Coach No…that’s not where he is at yet….So, imagine a scale of 0 to 10 where 10 is the situation in which the two of you share more realistic ideas and plans and you are inspired to go for it again, and 0 is the situation in which none of that was realised yet….where are you now on that scale?

Client Not very high…I guess a 5 or so…

Coach Not very high...a 5 or so….what makes you say it’s a 5?

Client Let me think….I still enjoy working on the project…and I do believe in our ultimate goals…I also agree with the managing director I’m the one to manage the project…I’m good at these sorts of major change operations…I can really pull people together and make things happen…People trust me because I walk my talk..

Coach Oké, sounds good…you still enjoy it, you believe in the goals, you know you’re the right person and people trust you because you walk your talk.. Good…what else have you done to get to 5?

Client Erm…I know how to approach the managing director..I have known him for a long time and I just know how to hit the right keys…we understand eachother, we’re carved out of the same wood… we want the same thing..we really go for it once we believe in it...

Coach That’s useful, that you know how to approach him...

Client Yeah, that’s right….it’s ok actually…I have already achieve stuff…yeah…by the way, now that I am thinking about it, the other day the managing director dropped by and mentioned this interest group which is being very difficult…I forgot about that….he didn’t have the time to discuss it properly, but looking back at it I guess it was the first time he came up with a problem himself…

Coach Interesting…Right….so that’s how you managed to get to 5…I can see why you say you have already achieved stuff……

Client Yes, yes, indeed!

Coach May I ask you something…what is the highest you have been on the scale?

Client You mean….the highest I’ve been….let me think now…I’m sure I’ve been higher than a 5….yeah…I would say there have been moments that I’ve been an 8!

Coach Aha…an 8! When was that?

Client When we just started the project….I was attending the first steering group meeting, kick-off meeting…He was firing off this impassionate speech and I took over from him with the same passion…There were a few critical comments…and it turned out we weren’t on the same wave length with regard to some of our answers…so in the next brake we quickly exchanged our concerns about this and we levelled with eachother… that was good, because it was quite a profound issue…

Coach Wow, sounds really interesting…how did you do that, to level with each other so quickly on such a profound issue?

Client Good one…good one….how did we do that again….erm…I just signalled we had to have a brake and he immediately responded to that…we stepped outside, so that others couldn’t see us…I remember explaining my views and concerns…I was very convinced this was a crucial decision…I think I took my time to explain myself clearly….he’s a good listener by the way…He’s very good in understanding when he needs to listen….I’ve noticed that before actually… He then explained things to me I wasn’t aware of..he had more information than I did.. so then it was easy and we came to some conclusions quickly..

Coach That’s good, that you can solve those sorts of situations so well together….

Client Indeed! Maybe now you understand why I have high hopes to solve this problem with him as well….we’re both reasonable people……

Coach Yes, I do understand that there are many indications that you can solve this…!

Client Yeah yeah…

Coach Is it being useful to talk about this?

Client Sure!

Coach What’s been useful so far?

Client Well…I am much more clear about what needs to happen…

Coach Yeah?

Client Yeah…you see, I want to focus on levelling with the managing director as
soon as possible..because once that’s done, I’m sure we’ll find ways to solve the other problems as well..more time, better communication, less ambitious targets….you know..

Coach I see…so how would you notice you’re one step higher on the scale?

Client One step higher…that would be when the managing director and I have had are first exchange of concerns…

Coach Sounds good... what ideas have you now got to take a step forward?

Client Well, you don’t know this but he’s going on a holiday tomorrow..so my idea is to organise a “step outside” moment today during our last staff meeting where we both will be…just tell him we need to talk about some major obstacles after his holiday..in such a way that I still show my dedication and enthusiasm..

Coach I can see that that could work well….

Client Thanks for this, it’s been worthwhile!

Coach How would you like to go about a possible next session?

Client I’d like to call you in a few months time, is that ok?

Coach Absolutely!